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Horn-Loaded Speakers
Topic: Two (allegedly) Grateful Ears

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Posted by Romy the Cat on 11-10-2010

I hate Italians. They do the best women in the world; they have one of the best cuisines in the world; they use one of the best languages in the world but they still where shamelessly eliminated in the first round of the 2010 World Cup. Assholes! From another side the people who read the site like mine are not divided or united by nationality but rather by meaningless and  audio topologies: SET people, PP people, horn people, silver wire people, single-driver people, wooden tonearm people, Patricia Barber people… etc and etc and etc…

So, the freaks that use horn loading – one of the little brothers of yours is in troubles and presumably might use your help. Some of you know Stefano Bertoncello as Twogoodears. He runs a blog:

--where he shared his unfortunate thoughts about audio. The Twogoodears moniker is a bit misleading as Stefano has no ears at all and runs his horn time-misaligned. Still, even for this hard violation of horn conduct he does not deserve the punishments that Got send to him this time. Usually if person practice audio but deaf and stupid then after his departure to another world God send him to Audio Hell. In the audio Hell the reincarnated deadbeat become an industry professional and each day in Hell become the January 10; when the deadbeat to the rest of the days sit in the stinky CES hotel and play the same tune to a dozen idiots in the room. However, this time God was a prick and he send a great flood to North Italy:

…that looks like flooded the Stefano household.

Sure, Stefano deserves some God punishment as he has dog but not Cat. But the problem is that this flood punishment had very unpredicted consequences to Stefano’s payback.  After the flood the Twogoodears’ audio is silent, not even that – there is absolute silence in the Stefano’s home. Formerly Twogoodears tuned his audio to the voice of his wife but after the flood the wife turned soundless. The problem is that flood ruined the family dishes and glasses and without it the wife is silent like fish. It is little known fact outside of Italian families that Italian women are talking by crashing dishes. A good Italian woman instead of saying to you “How was your day, honey” send to your direction a projectile dish accompanied with 2 glasses, all of them ironically made and ornamented in south France. Since the dishes and glasses are gone the Twogoodears’ wife is sitting all day long on her wet sofa and silently cries about his verbal incapacity.  As the result Twogoodears has no reference point upon which to celibate VTA or to adjust volume on his tweeters.

So, I think you, the horn loaded freaks can help a bit in this situation. Tonight you will go to your local Italian store, spending $50 to buy for your stupid dog some nice wild boar prosciutto. Do not feed your dog with it, give him a can food and send $50 to Twogoodears to buy new dishes for his wife. You need to look at the things from a perspective. Face it, you are fat and ugly and literally you are one hot dog away from a hard attack. So, today, instead of going to lunch to eat your dally crap and living in the café your next $25 you might skip the lunch and to send those $25 to Twogoodears. So, I call to everyone to demonstrate a random act of kindness and send to the family that in the verge of collapsing whatever you can. I promise you that you will feel very good about yourself for the next 3 second after you click the donate button on the Twogoodear’s site. The 3 second of feeling yourself better is much more pleasant then 2 hours of feeling yourself bad your typical lunch – so, your money will do more good in North Italy then in your hands.

The alternative is truly horrible. The Twogoodear would need to find a new wife and the only available girls that do not break dishes are Chinese women. They would tolerate anything to make own man to feel good but try to tune those stupid GOTO drivers to the Chinese 5-tone scale! No, let send to Twogoodear some money, let him to buy back some dishes for the Italian wife and to the GOTO myth doing….

Come on, people, this is just money!

Rgs, Romy the Cat

Posted by twogoodears on 12-03-2010
Hi Roman, hi all...
I wish to thank you all for kindness, empathy and support shown...
Thanks, sincerely... also on my wife's behalf;-), while I wish you all to NEVER suffer something like this.

Posted by Romy the Cat on 12-03-2010

Stefano, and thanks for the opportunity to contribute money to something worthy.

It might sound like sarcasm but it is not. It today world is very difficult to find “people in original need” to donate our services or money. Do not forget that altruism is one of the secretive magnifications of egotism as conducting altruistic acts we truly experience purely egotistic feeling from our deeds.

When I say the “people in original need” I imply to the fact that it is very hard to find nowadays a charity that is not metastasized by administrative agenda. I for instants NEVER donate money to any courses. It started with me 3 years back. I love Boston Police, I love and respect them. For 11 years I donated annually $500 for a fond that helped the families of the police officers who were killed on the line of duty. For those $500 I felt myself so good and so altruistic…

So, about 3 years ago I was driving and was listening NPR show about the business of solicitation of donations and how this business badly regulated. In the end of the show they said a very interesting fact. Massachusetts is the only state in US where solicitors obligated to divulge what prestige of donations are coming to them and how much they let go to the “cause”.  I mean in Massachusetts they shall not advertise the fact but if the donor willing to ask then in Massachusetts they must inform about the true administrative cost. This is the law in Massachusetts, this is well-enforced and the people who solicit money well know it.  Ironically a few ways after this NPR show the guy from the Boston Police called me (he did once a year) and asked to do my annuals contribution. Honestly, without any mean thoughts, I asked him how much of my money the families of the killed caps will get. He was well trained and he informed me that his organization talks 85% of the donated money. I cans NOT EVEN EXPRESS how much fucked I felt after this news. Of cause I did not give any money to them anymore and it has poisoned in me any desire to donate anything to anybody and to anything.

Even in your case, what the recipient of the money will be not the corporate assholes but the true people with true needs the donated moneys will be also mismanaged. A any good person clicking the button donate at your site visualize your wife going to a village bazaar and buying some used dirty from flood dishes. Then she comes home, carefully clean the dishes and later she feeds from the dishes the neighborhood Cats left homeless after the flood.  This is a normal healthy wet dream of any person who donates money to you. In really it will be much different. You wife and the hungry Kittens will hardly see any money.  Your will take 85% of all donations and will run to hi-fi store to buy platinum-make fuses for your audio.  That is life, no wonder that your wife does not talk to you but only throwing projectile dishes into you. You well deserve it…..

Rgs, Romy the caT

Posted by twogoodears on 12-03-2010
 Romy the Cat wrote:
  Your will take 85% of all donations and will run to hi-fi store to buy platinum-make fuses for your audio.  That is life, no wonder that your wife does not talk to you but only throwing projectile dishes into you. You well deserve it…..

... that's why there are several musicians among women, BUT VERY few female-audiophiles (an interesting topic, per se...)!
NO... whatever, BUT - please - not exotic-fuses, Roman;-)... and, you know, beside Chicco - our dog - kittens TRULY are in my heart...

Anyway, I got your point of view: for UNESCO and... church(es) is absolutely the same... too sadly, only few drops reach the thirsty and hungry mouths.


Posted by AOK_Farmer on 12-03-2010
Two nuns stopped by the winery today to get a donation for the poor for Christmas. I asked it it was OK and gave them bottles of my wine, which seemed to make them very appreciative.

I know where it is going. I think you should give what you make with your hands whenever possible. It is not as easily corruptible as money.

Perhaps I can send some wine to the worthy wife of the TwoGoodEars?


Posted by twogoodears on 12-04-2010
 twogoodears wrote:
 Romy the Cat wrote:
  Your will take 85% of all donations and will run to hi-fi store to buy platinum-make fuses for your audio.  That is life, no wonder that your wife does not talk to you but only throwing projectile dishes into you. You well deserve it…..

... for UNESCO and... 

... ooops: I meant UNICEF...

... thanks to the nuns and to Steve;-)))

Posted by AOK_Farmer on 12-04-2010
She now will have the empty wine bottles to throw at you.  :-)

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